Keep in mind that emotions are running high, so it is especially important to communicate effectively. Try to avoid accusatory statements. Instead, focus on expressing your own experience. By focusing on the behavior, how it made you feel, and the impact you can hopefully open a dialogue without making the other person defensive. Also, be open to their feedback.
Generalizing the Negative Try not to generalize or globalize negative behaviors to condemn the person on a whole. For example, you and cousin John have been close for 35 years and you think he is a great guy.
Bullied No More: The End of Workplace Bullying
After the death of your grandmother, he seems selfishly fixated on getting ownership of her car. Now I see him for what he really is. All of a sudden everything else John does is clouded by your new-found realization that John is a shady, greedy troll. Grief makes us all do crazy, sometimes crappy, things that we often regret.
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It is important to cut people and ourselves some slack. People do all sorts of awful stuff when they grieve, so view these things as poor choices due to an impossible time in life. Try to remember that this may be the exception in their behavior, not the rule. Just like you need to be gentle and forgiving with yourself, you need to be gentle and forgiving with others. One final tip — Mediation If there is truly no managing the conflict on your own, there are professional mediators who can help. They can work with your family to get through the basic logistics.
They are trained professionals and you may just find some time with them can help you better understand each other. Here are a few additional posts related to this topic that you may find helpful:. Sisters walk around telling people how successful and perfect they are.
The reality is they had nothing to do with anything they have. Most all of it is a complete lie. I was married for 6 short years and during that time, my late husbands relatives were nothing but hateful to me.
Across the Life-Span and Cultures
His daughter stole prescription meds and her boyfriend is a convicted meth dealer. Needless to say, it was 6 years of hell and remained that way even after his death because of his family. The family had been hinting I needed to get out. In total they got close to half a million dollars. I got a very small life insurance payment and a very small pension check. During probate the family found out they had to take over the refii loan from me or lose the house and I forgo to mention the 50 acres of land they got. In addition, there were some additional debts they had to pay incurred solely by their dad.
They eventually took over the loan from me and paid the debt and then posted a hate filled rant in facebook about me not giving them all of the life insurance money I got to help pay the debts. Their lie filled ranting got blocked and so did they. Unbelievable greed and hate. I we t above and beyond in that marriage and that was ne or appreciated. I got married to my wife four years ago, some months ago, i was surprise to get a divorced letter, i thought it was a joke, cause she likes joking a lot.
I know she heard me there. I was her primary caregiver yet they twisted my motives to say I refused to hire out caregiving so I could hoarde money. It was really despicable. Her husband gave it away.
Bullied No More: The End of Workplace Bullying - The Positivity Solution
I took care of my parents. They passed 20 years apart and same month and 4 days apart. Anyway the day my father passed the daughter and her kids told the funeral home and the minister that I was not going. I waited for someone to come and pick me up and nothing. Only found out what she did when I contacted the church. And before he passed she went into the bank and removed all his furniture from the retirement home.
In the dresser had an envelope on who gets what and she knew about that and she also took the phone book on who to contact. I have been dealing with all this by myself since no other family. Been a year and no contact with anyone. Funny that even after my mother passed she started stealing furniture that my mother had left for me. We will never be brother or sister again, and to think with her kids she turned them against me and she did the same with the kids father and his side.
Karma will one day get back at her. As for me I will be leaving to start a new life. I wish you good fortune my friend,which I know you will find X. My brother and my younger sister are taking her to court to force her to sale since we are a month in after she was supposed to sale it. And he has done this often. If he goes to a lwayer and says that I agree with him…. I understand all of the comments, and it just sucks when family turns on each other. I am currently going through this with my older sister.
Our mom died in October, and we are the only heirs to her will; however, my mom did not put the car or house in the trust, so we had to get the letter of testamentary through probate, but my sister wanted me to renounce my representative status, which I did not. She has always wanted total control and treats me like I am stupid. She was always argumentative prior to this situation. I have disliked and even hated her a lot over the last 28 years, so I expect there will be no relationship after this.
My Mother died and my sister flew in from another Country and hijacked the funeral, ransacked the house, and tried to get my Dad to change his will, all within the first 10 days of burying her. She insisted on doing the eulogy and made it all about Herself. She used the words MY Mother… so many times I stopped counting at The tables had so many pictures of my sister that it looked like SHE died instead of Mom. I even found containers where my sister was stealing some, among all the other things she had stuffed into 14 Rubbermaid bins.
Boxed and removed from the house before anyone realized. She had the realtor getting the house appraised by day 10 and was trying to get my Dad to take her to the Lawyers and get her added as Executor. My Dad was in a fog of grief. She was very busy while Dad and I were grief stricken. She even signed all the thank-you cards from just herself and my Dad. I loved my Mom dearly and we were very, very close. I understand some people need to control things, but even if I try to believe there was no malice, it was then at best…unbearably thoughtless.
I did not have a sister then, so I too refuse to have one now. I have chosen that is it best for my soul to not be around her. These people should be terrified of karma. I have anxiety about going through all this and dealing with her again when Dad passes. I wish you all peace in your hearts and the strength to move forward with joy.
God Bless us all… xo. Mr brother as well. Except his thing is threatening and not reading the law. So here we sit 3 months after dad died with this item would of Ann estate bleeding me and my sister of our inheritance at his behest. I grew up in this house with my sisters and brother, each time I was ready to move, my mother would make a deal with me to keep me in this house.
I have raised my children in this home, in the apartment in the back, and paid for half the expenses incurred while my oldest sister ran a hairdressing business out of the house, living free off of my mother and I.
Sometimes You Have to Say Goodbye to Someone with a Mental Illness
When my mother and her husband could no longer handle going up and down the stairs in the house, and I was once again planning on moving out, they offered me the house, and they would take the apartment. I was married and thought it might be a good idea for our family, then I found out that my husband was cheating on me, and I threw him out. I had spent all my money renovating the apartment and making it nice. I worked all my life, the only times I took a break was for the births of my 2 children.
I went to school.
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I only stopped working when I realized that I had to care for my mother, and I tried to protect myself from losing my job by getting on the Family Medical Leave Act, but even though my company honored the law, they fired me 3 times, then realizing that after firing and rehiring me back, they had the Union rep. So, I gave up my life and made myself available to my mother full time, cause if not she would have had to pay someone, and I would have ended up losing another job when mornings came and she was on the floor due to the chair that lifted her up and slid her to the floor during the night.
My mother was whisked to the hospital, as her fluids were getting too high, she had Congestive heart failure 3 years ago and every year around this time, she has to have oxygen 24 hours for a week or so, till the fluid left her body, then she goes to rehab for 2 weeks and gets her legs working again. Now, my mother made me promise that as long as I lived in this house with her, I would never allow my sisters or brother to put her in a home, that was in She also had a legal document made up with her last husband, stating that if any of her children stayed in the home and took care of either her or her husband depending on who survived to need a home health aide, that child would be able to stay in the home and when they were ready to sell the house, they would inherit half the value of whatever it sold for.
My mother was headed home after 2 and a half weeks, and she was chopping at the bit to get out of the healthcare facilities, where she could be in the comfort of her own home. I got a call, someone decided to send my mother back to the hospital due to low oxygen, so she is transported to not the same hospital, but another one, where they know nothing about my mother, then after her crying to my sister who was POA, that she wanted to go home, please let her go home.
That was said and I forgot what my sister was, she told the hospital to send my mother to a Hospice in Vorhees NJ and gave them instructions not to speak to me if I called or came to see my mother, no information was to be shared with me. My sister blabbered off some bull—- to me about how my mother needed 24 hour care as her oxygen level was low and she kept taking off the oxygen. So I got dressed called a cab and grabbed some oranges, V8 juice and other things that my mother loved to have from home.